The Trump administration’s haphazard deportation scheme despatched Kilmar Abrego Garcia to an El Salvadoran slave jail… by chance. OOPS! After a federal lawyer was pressured to confess the error — as a result of he didn’t wish to misinform the court docket — the administration promptly fired the lawyer. The Supreme Court docket unanimously ordered the federal government to deliver Abrego Garcia again to the US, which the administration tried to lie about — presumably with AI hallucinated misquotes — earlier than ultimately giving in and bringing him again to the US and charging him with human trafficking in Tennessee.
However the Tennessee prices had been sufficiently flimsy that the federal government couldn’t show a compelling purpose to maintain Abrego Garcia’s in custody and the decide ordered his launch pending trial. He returned to Maryland the place he can be topic to ICE supervision beneath his pre-existing standing.
Pursuant to that order, he confirmed up for his check-in in the present day and acquired arrested. Based on the official Homeland Safety X account, Abrego Garcia “will probably be processed for removing to Uganda,” a rustic the place he has no ties in any respect, however presumably they’ve purchased Trump Memecoin or one thing.
A humble suggestion: if he’s “an MS-13 gang member, human trafficker, serial home abuser, and baby predator,” then FUCKING PROVE IT. If this man is Hannibal Lecter in a Bulls hat, then it shouldn’t be arduous, armed with the superior energy of the Division of Justice, to cease being so chickenshit and go safe a conviction!
However there’s a purpose Noem and her division are so dedicated to making an attempt Abrego Garcia completely within the court docket of “Elon Musk’s Dwelling for Wayward Bots And Racists (And Racist Bots!).” They’ve acquired nothing. The one smoking gun these Keystone Kops managed to provide you with was a tattoo they usually even needed to invent faux captions to make that look incriminating. Whole novice hour. They confirmed as much as court docket with their proverbial genitals of their palms and when the decide refused to go alongside absent any proof, Homeland Safety tossed a dart at a map and determined to ship him to Uganda.
They’re too chickenshit to return to court docket, so that they’re dumping Abrego Garcia in Uganda and hoping everybody forgets about him. The Supreme Court docket’s authentic order demanding his return offered few particulars about how every justice noticed the case, however did give attention to the administration overlooking a preexisting order forbidding his deportation to El Salvador. Whereas the substance of his case hasn’t actually modified within the meantime, the administration hopes {that a} majority of the Supreme Court docket can be keen to toss their considerations about due course of and go away it at “Uganda will not be El Salvador, so no hurt no foul.”
The one benefit of the unchecked enlargement of govt authority proper now’s that the following president, assuming they really get in workplace by 2029, ought to face no obstacles to systematically firing and prosecuting everybody concerned on this shame.
In the meantime, Abrego Garcia goes to be handled like a Carmen Sandiego prop, shipped from nation to nation within the hope that folks cease asking why the Trump administration are too scared to enter a courtroom.
Earlier: Kristi Noem Thinks Habeas Corpus Is A Deportation Spell
DOJ Makes Up Faux Supreme Court docket Quote About Deportation Hoping No One Notices
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Regulation and co-host of Pondering Like A Lawyer. Be at liberty to electronic mail any suggestions, questions, or feedback. Observe him on Twitter or Bluesky when you’re curious about regulation, politics, and a wholesome dose of faculty sports activities information. Joe additionally serves as a Managing Director at RPN Government Search.
