We had been attempting, however the second you see the phrase on the take a look at strip, actuality hits in another way. My profession was on an upward trajectory—I had simply been provided a serious promotion. And all I may assume was: Why now?
Once I advised my husband how nervous I felt, he assumed it was about my physique altering, or how our household of two would quickly grow to be three. He was flawed—and visibly confused. My nerves stemmed from the timing. I used to be entering into a brand new management position. I would want to take months off. Would I fall behind? Would they nonetheless take me critically? Would they even maintain me within the position as soon as they knew?
I lived in quiet, fixed stress. That stress hasn’t absolutely subsided, even now, after the start of my stunning daughter. The distinctive place ladies occupy when beginning a household—particularly in male-dominated fields—is usually misunderstood or minimized. And but, it’s some of the defining realities of working womanhood.
I had spent over a decade in a male-dominated medical setting—working nights, holidays, and climbing every rung with persistence and grit. The promotion wasn’t handed to me; I had earned it by outcomes, relationships, and resilience. However in moments of self-doubt, I nonetheless remind myself I should be right here.
Receiving a promotion felt like a turning level—not only for my profession, however for my sense of identification as a frontrunner. For as soon as, I used to be being seen not simply as reliable, however as somebody with imaginative and prescient.
I lately led a busy emergency division by a serious hospital acquisition. On the time, I already held a management place throughout the establishment. Accepting the supply meant leaving a cushty place to construct a workforce and lay the muse for an emergency division inside our revered community.
If you happen to’re in well being care, you already know its male-dominated nature. In 2023, solely about 15 % of well being system CEOs within the U.S. had been ladies. Medical college deans and division chairs are additionally predominantly male, with ladies holding roughly 27 % of dean positions and about 25 % of division chair roles, in keeping with the AAMC’s State of Girls in Educational Drugs 2023-2024 report. But ladies now make up over half of medical college students. The management hole stays stark.
So why did I really feel a direct sense of panic after accepting the promotion? Why did I really feel like I needed to maintain my being pregnant a secret to guard this hard-won alternative? Perhaps it was as a result of in emergency medication, ladies make up about 30–35 % of physicians, however solely about 10–15 % of division chairs or chiefs.
I confirmed as much as introduction conferences with government management in saggy blouses and a secret pounding in my chest. Each time somebody congratulated me, I smiled and swallowed each gratitude and morning illness. I used to be making long-term selections for the division whereas quietly monitoring the due date on my cellphone, questioning easy methods to onboard a brand new workforce of physicians, steer our high quality mission, and ship my first youngster—all whereas getting ready to step away from work to savor these tender first moments of motherhood.
A part of it was impostor syndrome—I’m not afraid to call it. However once I spoke with different ladies, I wasn’t met with shock. As a substitute, their nods validated a shared expertise. It fueled the quiet fireplace inside me, whispering: This method wasn’t constructed for you, however you’re in it now. So what’s going to you do?
I’ve navigated this new position with dedication and care, now with a brand new perspective on all my feminine co-leaders and the junior college I mentor. I’m right here to share with readers that yow will discover allies within the office—typically male, typically your direct superior—however most significantly, you’re validated.
The work to dismantle male-dominated constructions continues, one seat on the desk at a time. I sit up for ladies holding greater than 30 % of C-suite and CEO roles in well being care. I sit up for ladies getting promoted with out secrecy, apology, or worry.
I entered this journey seven weeks pregnant and terrified. I used to be constructing a workforce, a division, and a tiny human—all on the similar time. I didn’t do it with out worry, however I did it anyway.
Now, with a thriving daughter and a thriving division, I see it clearly: ladies don’t want to cover our pregnancies to be taken critically. We should be seen absolutely—as leaders, as moms, as folks able to doing exhausting issues.
I sit up for the day when promotions throughout being pregnant are celebrated, not questioned. Till then, I’ll maintain constructing a system that’s lastly constructed for us.
Be part of me in constructing a well being care system that’s really constructed for us—the place ladies leaders don’t have to decide on between profession and household, however can thrive in each.
Christine DeSanno is an emergency doctor.
